catch up

i haven't written in here in almost a month.

here are some bullet points.

- i love vince guaraldi
- music that swings is almost definitely the best music of all
- hip hop everywhere
- i've already read four books this year (although they were short, it still counts)
- also read a play
- school has only been in session a week and it already feels like ages
- can't wait to graduate; terrified of graduation; same old story
- my directed study proposal was denied, which was shitty
- my new directed study was proposed for me, but it should be okay, i guess
- been reading about songwriting
- checked out the complete lyrics of johnny mercer from the library
- i want to spend my life in the library
- it was 15 below yesterday

i am contemplating writing a rather lengthy entry about food, but i'm not sure i'm up to the task. i've been watching this show called "supersize v. superskinny," and i've become, for a lack of a better word, obsessed. i've always been obsessed with bodies and food and what food does to bodies. who knows. we'll see.

i'm at work and it's boring, so i don't want to leave this entry just yet. i'd like to keep going, if only to have something to do. i'm pretty much here alone with my thoughts (and my homework), so...basically i'm doing nothing.

but. off to study beethoven. this is the semester of productivity (i hope).



while cleaning my room at my mom's house, i found a poem i wrote a few years ago mimicking "The Pool Players. Seven at the Golden Shovel."

The Gang Members. Seven Waiting for their Bail Bonds.

We got hoes. We
ain't broke. We

Fuck shit. We
Take hits. We

Real thugs. We
sell drugs. We

Need bail. We
In jail.

i've also found some terrible poetry, some mediocre poetry, and a lot of notebook pages filled with the kind of existential lamenting only a fifteen year old could come up with.



this is the year that i graduate from college, that i am legally able to buy a drink, that i have to "grow up and get a job," that i am free to move where i please, that i become shackled by student debt.

i am going to read a lot this year, move a lot this year, write a lot this year, laugh a lot this year, sing a lot this year. i am going to meet lots of people and love lots of people.

everything is full of uncertainties. i don't know where i'm going to be living in a few months. i don't know what i'll be doing to afford where i'm living. i don't know how music is going to be working out. but it will be okay.

it doesn't feel like a "new year," but marking the passage of time has never been my specialty.

of course, to follow along with tradition, i will make a list of goals:
finish the EP
find a drummer and bassist
record with the marxists
get a job
meet more people; specifically, writers and musicians
be able to do a few pull-ups
be able to run and run and run
get some radio play (what)
participate in a slam (but don't feel guilty if i don't)
write more spoken word stuff
plan an album
maintain pen pal relationships
go hiking somewhere around the cities
write. write. write.

my posts are boring and unpoetic lately; i will give you something better later.