bodies, and other cliches


these women intimidate me.
i have mixed feelings on the fat-acceptance movement. part of me thinks it's unhealthy, that it encourages an embrace of bad lifestyles, that it says it's okay to be lazy. the other part of me loves people loving themselves.
i guess the real problem is the fact that i think fat equates to ugly. i am afraid of it. i don't want to ever look like these women. their bodies are scary to me because i am scared of looking like that.

but i feel like i look like that, sometimes.

it's just that these big ladies look so happy in what would make me (and so many other people) feel so bad - their big bodies. but is that bad? if they love themselves, and if they are happy, should anyone try to change that?

what does any of this mean? i don't know. i'm not one of those people who is going to blame any generation's messed-up body image on the media and how all of our young girls are going to get eating disorders from the fashion industry. women have been feeling like this for decades without the realm of high-fashion models. i will say that finding out about crystal renn has made me feel like i can be just as beautiful if i try, but that girls in movies often make me feel like i will never be thin enough to qualify as beautiful.

this subject often makes people feel uncomfortable, but i needed to say something (even if just in this nearly-unread blog). i don't know how i feel in my own skin, if i like my body or not. i don't know what beautiful is. i don't know if i don't like the fat acceptance movement because i think it's unhealthy, or simply because i don't like myself. i am not asking for your compliments or for you to tell me anything about my appearance. i want to figure out how i feel about fat acceptance, about body image, about plus sized models and the idea of "plus sized" and so many other things. i want to know what other people think, too. i just want to learn about bodies.

i want to know where men are in all of this, too. women's body image is constantly discussed, but men are often ignored. i'm not only curious about what men think of women's opinions of themselves, but what pressures men face. they are assaulted, too, with an ideal to obtain. do men feel as badly about themselves as so many women do?

if this is all too personal, you can let me know. i'm having second thoughts about this post, but...ah, well. here goes.

(also....leonard nimoy photography? what?)


Anonymous said...

I've always been a fan of fuller-figured models. There's a great site with many images of Crystal and other plus-size models here:


They're all gorgeous.

The site's forum also has thought-provoking discussions about body image and the media.

Kellene Elise said...

I'm glad you have to guts to make posts like this babe! I am not pro- eating disorders by any means, but I don't feel comfortable with this "fat acceptance" thing... Why can't we all strive to be healthy? I don't care what the 'norm' is, whether that be a toothpick or a submarine... We should strive for good health.. Not exercise to be thin, but exercise to be good to our hearts...

People are thinking about this in all the wrong ways! It breaks my heart.

I love you.