there is this little twitch in my legs and this little thought in my head that keeps telling me to start running. and you know what? i kind of want to. (okay, i really want to.) but this means i have to buy running shoes, and a new sports bra, and, fear of all fears, it means i have to use the treadmill in the workout room, which is potentially in front of other people. and that...that is no good.

but man, oh man. the control freak in me is really excited about the potential for goals and pushing myself.
of course, this is juxtaposed with yoga, to keep the calm in me happy.


small and alive.

and then i bent over and set it on top of the water, thin but not weak. it drifted like a leaf, like i was the tree that wrote that letter. the current was reversed, so close to the island, and so my words went backwards for a while, until they were swept up in the mighty mississippi, unable to strain any longer against its pull. i cried. i began to pick up rocks to throw into the river, one by one, making loud splashes, feeling an angry and relieved strain in my arm over and over. but then, finally, i looked back up and it had gone. i don't know if it sank, or just floated out of my view. in any case, it is gone.

well, the paper is gone.

the problem is not.

but somehow, this is easier, now.



personal goals:

ASAP, begin making higher quality recordings to put online.

by next semester at the latest, gig at least bi-weekly.
buy a gig bag and a small PA system.

by next year, play at least once a week.
become a familiar face in the coffee-house scene.
set up a track list to prepare for an album.
have a decent size fan base.

i am overwhelmed, a little bit.
oh, world - please, please like me.
(if only gigs would come to me.
but life could never be that easy.)


shoulder stands.

today on my yoga video:

"for this pose, you will need a chair, several blankets, a belt, and a small towel."

and what, pray tell, are you planning to do, rodney yee?