i am in love with so many different people and things right now that i am getting overwhelmed.
it is my last week of school here. it is my last week of living in this city. i don't know what to do. i don't know who to see. i am surrounded by so many people that i like. but of course, i must come visit over the summer.
i've been working and sleeping odd hours.
i've been watching movies about space.
i've been reading books about jazz.
i haven't been writing music. (i don't like that.)
if only leaving were easy. if only detachment was simple. if only everyone weren't so wonderful.
i need to find a way to keep these people in my life forever.
i needed so many things from these people, you know? i needed smoky coffee shops at 2 AM and spontaneous adventures. i needed to climb on a roof. i needed to be in charge of something. i needed to be made responsible. i needed to receive unnecessary gifts. i needed very strong hugs. i needed to break silly rules i was supposed to uphold. i needed to tell everyone they were wonderful. i needed hope. i needed to hold hands. i needed to give more back rubs. i needed to play the blues. i needed jam sessions. i needed to be a little trapped. i needed to learn independence. i needed structure. i needed something to break free from. i needed tea dates. i needed poetry. i needed music. i needed love.
i'm still going to need these things.
who will i get them from?
(5:30 AM realization to hotel light's "follow through")