i feel utterly ashamed of myself, like i have accomplished nothing with my break from school.

but part of me wants to say, hey, world, fuck off. because sometimes, when one gets a break, one needs a break. and i hadn't had one in a long while. i've got a lot of shit to deal with, and work wasn't exactly going to help me through any of that. besides, i am at home - this is supposed to be a safe haven against schoolwork. i do schoolwork when i live at school, simple as that.

i know, though, in the end, that those are not good enough reasons. i have a few days to get a lot done, and i'm not sure it will happen. i probably ought to go work right now, instead of writing.

(it's still hard for me to understand how i can't get through life just writing and reading and breathing.
logically, of course, one needs to make money and all of that nonsense, but that's not enough for me.)

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