good grief

i will hang my head low and pretend that i am looking at the ground
when really
i am avoiding any sort of eye contact.

i am ashamed
and upset
and feeling slightly wounded.

i should not have to do this.
i should not have to do this at all.

i love my friends for all they do for me, and i am eternally grateful. i can feel horrible about everything that is going on, but then i can think of those people that i love because i choose to, that i love beyond any sort of genetic bond, that i love purely because we are meant to love each other. thank you, thank you for loving me. you don't know how much i need it.

(there are problems much, much bigger than me.
and maybe i should start thinking about those instead.)

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