11.12.07

safe.

it's easier, easier, easier to ignore.

it's easier to ignore sleep and food and life and everything physical and emotional and everything that's everything.
i want pure consciousness, and i have not found a way of achieving it.
i've reached a state where it's hard to crawl into bed at night; i am somehow afraid to go to sleep; but in the mornings, it is all i want. in the daytime, it is all i want. just not at night, when i finally grow alive.

next semester is exciting, with night classes and mornings filled with sleepiness.

but i must off to bed. i have to be a real person tomorrow, i do. and this requires more from me than what i am giving now.

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