if you had felt
if you had felt what i feel every time this happens
(every time. it's embarrassing and shocking and probably immensely psychological and physiological and a million other things that i don't think are even logical at all.)
if you had felt what i feel every time this happens, things would be different.
(i would be different, you would be different, and there would be a common understanding of grounds here. if i could make my mouth form these words, form much more than words, if you understood the simple poetry and aching of it all, everything would change. and by change i mean fall into the simple rhythm part of me will always cling to and believe as destiny and plain truth.)
i complicate everything, internally, unintentionally.