everything is noticeable and dark once the sun is hidden, yes? you can see right through the trees out to the flowers growing around them. honeysuckle wraps itself desperately, clingingly, to the dead fallen trees and grows, sweet to taste and strange to touch. living here is only so long. living always is only so long, so unbelievably longer than you thought and yet you snap your fingers and where is the question.
maybe tomorrow will show a little more promise, the tomorrow that is today. maybe there is something singing in the trees. maybe the grass will feel like sunshine instead of coals. they are the same temperature but the texture makes all the difference.
i think everything is okay.
i also think that everything is going to be roughly the same forever, even though everything always changes, but it's all going to change in a way that keeps everything feeling so the same. so the same.
i feel like maybe sleep is necessary in this situation.