i wonder what the use is of thinking about the past.
it's gone, right? gone, gone, gone. and yet so many people are just stuck to it like flies.
i'm one of them sometimes, i'll admit. a song comes up or a picture flashes and suddenly i am brought back to people and feelings and ideas and everythings and nothings from the past. some of them are nice, some of them are not. i don't know what i want to say about this subject, honestly. other than that nostalgia is such a weird feeling, getting stuck in the back of your throat and staying there until you can find yourself unarguably in the present.
i've lost a lot of me, a lot of me that lives in the past. and when i get nostalgic for those ideas, i feel like i am somehow betraying myself and what i've worked for. well, i really haven't...no, i've worked for some of it. i don't know, i don't know.
i want the past and i also want to lose it.
like being a pack rat.
i want to keep it because i like it, but it's old and dirty and...not who i am anymore.
i don't know anything.
i need to meet some new people.