i miss being really happy...

but not enough to actually do anything about it.

is that a problem?

i can't figure it out.


transition periods

...are supposed to be the part of our life in which we grow the most, yes? and realize the most about ourselves?

well, this is what i've decided recently -
a college needs to waltz up to me and say "hey. we are going to give you loads of money because we like you. and we are a great school. and we are perfect for you."
and they will be perfect. and life will be perfect, or close to it.

but that isn't going to happen.

and, looking at all the apps i need to fill out, this is how i feel:

fuck college. why do i need it anyways? what do i truly need it for?
will i be able to fulfill my life's goal without it?
i don't know...and i don't think i want to take the chance.

but i really want to challenge everything about college right now...just because that's in the mood i'm in.
applications make me restless.